My auntie sure is a smart lady, and that Bob Marley absolutely does right by his uplifting old school tune –  Everything’s Gonna Be Alright.  On this Thanksgiving Day they are both right – Everything is sure gonna be alright – and I could not be more thankful for this moment of peace over the upcoming holiday season.

As implied, I received some relieving results yesterday that my biopsy results came back benign. For 98% of me, this is outstanding news.  For the other 2%, I am left with a huge reminder that this will be an ongoing source of worry and I’ll explain why in a minute.  Of the 15 samples they took, they found some fibrocystic breast changes which are absolutely normal and happen to many ladies in their lifetime.

In addition…they did also find something they classify as usual ductal hyperplasia which is described here:  In usual hyperplasia (the most common form of hyperplasia) the proliferating (dividing) cells look normal under a microscope.  Women with usual hyperplasia have about twice the breast cancer risk of women without a proliferative breast condition [143-144].

So for now, Everything’s Gonna Be Alright.  Another MRI is scheduled for 6 months from now to check that same area and keep an even closer eye on the party that may or may not be happening in there.  This new development + BRCA gal status just really lights a fire for timing on when I should be considering a major surgery so I can fulfill my Previvor journey and beat cancer before it finds me.  I’m just not there yet.

At least I now have some experience with the MRI guided biopsy in the event this becomes an unfortunate bi-annual ritual.  If any of you BRCA gals are curious, the link above does a good job explaining the biopsy process. Good or bad, I couldn’t watch this before going through it myself as it would have added to the anxiety of the day (tight spaces + needles + more needles = fainting and panic attacks for this girl).

That aside, the video highlights all of the steps of the process and reminds me just how amazing technology and medicine are at early diagnosis.  As I laid there during my biopsy, I leaned on all of the encouragement my dear friends and family had sent my way over the anxiety filled day.   One of my favorites was John 14:27.  It helped me through that day and has made the recovery afterwards bearable as well.

Thank you for the extra courage, love and support!  I need to un-trouble my heart a bit to live in the now, stay proactive as I have been and not worry about tomorrow, though I am fully aware of the road ahead.  The surgical research begins and so do considerations around timing.  Thanks to all for your positive energy and encouragement.   Everything’s Gonna Be Alright.

xoxo

Carey

Kind of ironic that it’s almost a year to date since the last time I’ve written.  And I should know and just be prepared that this time of year always come with additional anxiety, hope and the not so fun claustrophobia and legit out of my mind panic attacks I experience being inside of that tightly spaced breast MRI machine.

For some reason, this scan felt different, more emotional, more worrisome.  And for the first time, I literally wept like my son would have if he couldn’t find his lovie before bedtime – through the entire thing.  While I called on God’s presence and strength, I fell short of accepting it and leaning on it like I know I needed to then and most certainly do now.

Looking back a few days, I had thought that was a tough morning.

When the phone rang today during a three child screaming/trying to get out the door for school circus and the nurse asked me, “Is now a good time?” I really should have said no.  I should have said that what she was about to say was NOT good timing, that I was not in a state of mind or matter to tackle what she was about to throw down at me.

Then it came.  The anything other than “all good” chat that sounded a whole lot like Charlie Brown’s teacher back in the day.  I have this terrible habit of tuning things out when they are not good.  Didn’t help I had two sobbing children in addition to my own tears that wouldn’t stop.

The long in short is, they found a concerning area they call a non mass enhancement.  We are trying to find more information and statistics around this in general and for us BRCA gals.  What we do know is that about 20% of ladies with this finding end up with breast cancer, usually at a very early stage, however this does not account for the higher risk of BRCA2 mutations.  I will have to undergo a MRI guided biopsy right away on Tuesday and do my best to stay thinking about becoming part of the 80% that have to go through a lot of pain but end up with a positive outcome and a new piece of metal as a badge of honor.

I truly expected to be a whole lot stronger when that call came in, as I knew it was likely at any point prior to me having some major preventative surgeries.  I expected this to be easier to talk about but then again, given all of the recent events with one of my sons, that inner strength has been more than maxed out.  It’s yet another reminder to me and those at high risk to stay close to your screening appointments and take the proactive approach seriously and intentionally.

I’m hopeful and prayerful that all will be just fine, as I know there are many ladies that have had to undergo biopsies with such strength and positive outlook and all was good in the end.  Perhaps the biopsy report will mirror that of my tubes and bring a huge smile to my face being called Grossly Unremarkable as well.  You can call my girls whatever you want, just don’t tell me either of them have cancer in them, please.

To my family and friends, I’m sorry I didn’t call.  It would be far too hard for me to stutter out the words “Is now a good time?” and share something I cannot even say aloud just yet myself, nor am I ready to accept that this is happening.  Someday I’m hopeful our children will read these moments and be reminded of a tough patch in life that was overcome and a journey they themselves will never have to live through.

Hopeful to have you keep those results and outcomes in your prayers.

xox

Carey